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Never settle for less is a piece of advice that I’ve grown up hearing for most of my life. But, as I prepare to turn 37 and finish out this series finale in America, (prayerfully we’ll get picked up on another network) ya’ girl has some questions. Like, what does it mean to settle and how are we measuring less?
My counselor and I have been talking a lot about me changing my behaviors to address my negative beliefs about where I’m at in my life. So far I realize that I’m chasing this elusive carrot of what I believe success should be. I have exhausted a lot of misguided ambition to reach a place that simply doesn’t exist. The effed up part is that it doesn’t exist because I have yet to define what success looks and feels like for myself. I know, my mind was blown too.
You see I have been holding myself to these standards that I can only attribute to the pressures placed on me by external factors. How many of us are guilty of doing this? Is your circle of influence causing you distress? Do you feel you’d be judged by the invisible side-eye?
There’s nothing wrong with settling as long as you make sure that you are grounded and have planted yourself in good soil. Doing this allows you to establish roots, thrive, and grow. When we get caught up in chasing these elusive carrots we rob ourselves of this process. Granted there is purpose in moving around because it allows space for us to find our purpose and passion. But once we do, we should get in our respective lane and stay there. This is a struggle for many.
Life is not meant to be spent wandering around aimlessly in search of said thing that’s going to satisfy you. Satisfaction is relative and if you’re searching for purpose and passion, spoiler alert; they change. We are born with gifts that I firmly believe are to be used along the way. But tbh purpose and passion actually require us to be settled and grounded in one place. As we grow, thrive, and learn we evolve and eventually outgrow that place in which we set out to fulfill our new passion dreams and purpose. Ain’t evolution grand?
Consider this, think about your favorite successful person (mentor, celebrity, friend). 9/10 they are an expert in their field, have a vast network of contacts, and have been doing said thing for a long time. Now ask yourself this, would you consider all of their accomplishments to be less than? It’s time to adjust our mindsets and understand that settling is more of a process to get to our purpose, establish a solid foundation, and grow. And, there’s nothing negative or less than about that.